The wall between private and shared
What can and cannot cross from your private room into the shared space, and how that boundary is enforced.
The short answer: what you say in your private room is never shown to your partner. What everyone in your space sees is one shared picture, the Relationship State, and it is built to describe the relationship without exposing anyone's private words or who said what privately. The rest of this article walks the boundary precisely: what your private words feed (only your own private Relationship Map) and what the shared space is built from.
HeartWeave only works if your private room is genuinely private. Here is the exact boundary between what you keep to yourself and what your relationship shares.
The wall
Nothing you say in your private room is shown to the other members of your space. Not the words. Not the drafts. Not a summary of them. Your private conversation stays your private conversation.
That's the whole promise, and it holds in both directions: you never see what someone else writes in their private room either.
What your private words do feed
Your private conversations aren't sealed off from everything. They inform one thing that is still yours alone: your own Relationship Map. That's a private picture of the relationship that only you can read. Your words shape your map, and your map stays with you.
They do not get copied into the shared space, and they are not handed to the Mediator or to the other person's assistant.
What the shared space is actually built from
Everyone in the space can see one shared picture of the relationship, the Relationship State. Here's the part that matters: it is derived to be member-safe. It's written to describe the relationship, where it stands, what's alive in it, what needs care, without exposing anyone's private words or singling out who said what privately.
So the shared space can reflect that the relationship is under strain around, say, planning the future, without ever revealing the private sentence you wrote about it. The relationship is described. The person is not exposed.
There is no "revoke" panel
HeartWeave has no control panel for inspecting what crossed between spaces and pulling it back one item at a time. There is nothing to revoke: your private words are not shared, and the shared picture is built to be member-safe by construction.
The short version
- What you write privately is never shown to other members.
- Your private words shape only your own private Relationship Map.
- The shared Relationship State describes the relationship without exposing anyone's private words.
- The boundary is built in, not left to you to enforce after the fact.
For how all of this is stored and how deletion works, see privacy and your data.